


Father

by jo19844_twfic



Series: 100 fic prompts [15]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, janto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-21
Updated: 2015-09-21
Packaged: 2018-04-22 16:12:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4841972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jo19844_twfic/pseuds/jo19844_twfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the prompt "father"<br/>It's five years to the day his father died and Ianto isn't feeling quite right.  His yearly visit to the graveside brings a secret to the surface, pushing him to come clean about fears he has never disclosed to anyone.  Contains mentions of past physical abuse, angst and a little bit of fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Father

“Can you believe that species still think we’re stupid?” Jack asked Ianto with amusement from the passenger seat as they made their way back to the hub. “As if we would believe that a radioactive energy pulse was the work of nature?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time another species tried to pull the wool over our eyes.”

“I wouldn’t have minded so much if they had a genuine reason, but inciting fear is not one of them.”

“Well, they do call them the terrorists of the universe.” Ianto looked ahead blankly. “Nobody gets a reputation like that without good reason.”

“I just wish they were more of a challenge.”

“We’ve had plenty of challenges,” Ianto retorted. “And right now we really don’t have the manpower for anything too world-ending.”

Jack turned in his seat to face him a little and studied the Welshman. He wasn't his usual self. His dry wit was nonexistent and he hadn’t cracked a genuine smile all day; he had even refused when Jack had offered to join him in his morning shower, going so far as to lock the door to keep him out. 

“Have I done something wrong?” Jack asked, taking the opportunity of a red light to put his hand on his lover’s knee.

“What?” Ianto looked over at him, genuinely a little surprised at the question. “No, why?”

“You’re being all weird.”

“I’m not.”

“You took your shower alone today,” Jack explained. “You usually love that.”

“It’s not you.” Ianto placed a reassuring hand over Jack’s fingers. “I’m just a little preoccupied today, that’s all.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Do you mind if we make a quick detour?

“Well--” Jack raised an eyebrow, slipping his hand slowly up the Welshman’s thigh.

“Not _that_ kind of detour.” Ianto cracked his first smile of the day, moving Jack’s hand away as he moved away from the junction. 

“Then what’s the point?” 

“I just need to do something, It’ll only take five minutes.”

“We can spare five minutes.”

Ianto took a left, then reversed into an alleyway and put on the handbrake. He turned around in his seat and pulled his lover close, kissing his lips softly. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you okay?” Jack asked. “You’re acting really weird.”

“I’ll be fine.” Ianto gave him a smile they both knew was fake and started up the engine again

By the time Ianto got to where he was going his fake smile had faded and his frown had returned. Jack did nothing but watch him, concern drowning his features; he reached out a few times to touch his thigh and Ianto didn’t move away, but he didn’t take his eyes off the road either. He had never seen the Welshman like this. Ianto Jones was a master of covering up his feelings and putting on a fake smile or changing the subject was just part of how he functioned. Today was different.

When the SUV came to a stop Ianto stayed in the drivers seat for a moment, staring ahead at the large iron gates, his fingers glued to the steering wheel. It had been a year since the last visit and he had no desire to be there, but a promise was a promise.

“What are we doing at a graveyard?” Jack asked, puzzled. 

“It's my Dad's anniversary.” Ianto stared straight ahead. “I promised my sister I would visit.”

“I’m sorry.” Jack slipped his hand over the Welshman’s fingers. “You should've just said, you could’ve taken the day off or--”

“No.” Ianto turned towards him, taking hold of Jack’s hand as he slipped his fingers away from the steering wheel, then kissed his lips softly. “I just need five minutes. I’ll be fine after that”

“Do you want me to come with you?” 

“I'll be fine.” Ianto smiled softly, his eyes avoiding the other man’s gaze “You just stay here. I'll be back in a bit.”

Jack let Ianto’s fingers slip away and he watched him get out and walk around th the back of the SUV and took out some flowers. They werent nice flowers, not the kind that Ianto would send to Gwen on her birthday, or like the ones he put on his teammates graves on the days following their funeral. They were cheap flowers, flowers that screamed service station, half wilted and uncared for. They simply werent Ianto Jones’ style at all. He held them down by his side without care, some of the half-wilted flowers losing their heads as he walked away from the SUV and into the graveyard. 

He waited in the SUV, looking between the large iron gates and his watch. Ianto had been away for fifteen minutes by the time Jack got out and followed him. It took him a while before he found him, kneeling down infront of a large black gravestone, putting dead flowers inside a tesco carrier bag.

“Are you okay?” Jack asked, slipping his hand over the younger man’s shoulder. 

“I told you to wait for me.”

“You were gone a while,” Jack said. “I wanted to check you were okay.”

“I'm fine.” Ianto sighed, then stood up and dusted a little dirt off his trousers. “I was just getting rid of the old ones. Rhiannon usually does it, but she obviously hasn’t come yet so I thought I would save her the bother.” 

Jack slipped his hand into the younger man’s grasp and entwined their fingers. “How long has it been?”

“Five years.”

“He was young.” Jack looked at the gravestone, it looked new and still had a shine on it; the golden letters that spelled out his name looked clean and he could tell by the way Ianto had shoved his handkerchief into his pocket that he had polished it up a little.

“Cancer doesn't care how old you are,” Ianto said simply. “It takes you whenever it likes.”

Jack removed his hand and moved closer, slipping his arm around his shoulder. He dropped a kiss against the top of the Welshman’s head. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“I know you two were close.”

“We weren't,” Ianto confessed simply. 

“But you always--”

“I wanted to be, but we weren't.” Ianto moved away from Jack’s side and stepped closer to the stone,resting his fingers over the top edge. “I always thought he would change when he got older, that he would miraculously start to like me, but he never got old. He never really found that part of himself that could bring itself to love me.” 

“I'm sure he loved you. He was your father."

“He never said so.” Ianto smiled softly, looking down at the cheap flowers he had bought that morning; he didn't deserve any better. "If you think I'm a man of few words you should've seen him."

"Not a big talker, huh?"

"He said all he needed to with his fists. They told me all I needed to know." Ianto took his hand away quickly, distancing himself a little. 

"I see."

"He didn't love me. I wasn't the son he wanted and he never let me forget it." 

Jack felt anger rising inside of him and stared at the headstone resisting the urge to break it into pieces. He had never been the type to hate someone before he had met them; Jack had enough experience in life to believe that every story had two sides, but he didn't care about that this time. He felt heat burning the backs of his eyes, his anger slowly fading away into something else, then took a step back from the grave. 

"I don't understand why you would want to be here," Jack said coldly. "He doesn't deserve your grief."

"He was my Dad." Ianto turned around and looked up at the older man who was staring ahead, his eyes cold and unforgiving. "Despite everything he did, I still loved him."

"He didn't deserve it."

Ianto wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into an embrace, clinging tightly onto his shoulders. He could feel him holding on, maybe even tighter than he was himself, his lips pressing against the shoulder of his jacket. Pulling back, Ianto slipped his hands over JAck's cheeks and kissed his lips softly. 

"It's okay," Ianto said softly. 

"No, it's not."

"It is." He kissed him again, letting it longer for a moment before he slipped his arm around Jack's waist. "Come on, I'm all done here."

Jack put his arm around Ianto's shoulder and leaned in close as they walked slowly away from the graveside in silence. They were halfway back to the SUV befire Jack spoke again.

"Was it bad?" He asked.

"What?"

"Your Dad?" Jack clarified quietly. "Was it really bad?"

"Moderate." Ianto pulled Jack close to his side as he walked, shielding himself from the cold. "It was bruises mainly, a lot of yelling. I had a _few_ broken bones. Accidents as far as anyone else knew, just enough to make it look like I was a clumsy child."

Jack closed his eyes, the heat rising a little behind his lids. "If he was still alive I would've broken him in half."

"I don't think he knew any better really," Ianto said. 

"Don't make excuses for him."

"His Dad was like that and his Dad's Dad was the same." Ianto fell quiet for a moment and took a few steps in silence. "I once told Lisa that I never wanted kids. She thought that if was just because I was really bad with them, but it wasn't that. I would love kids really, I just--"

"You're not like him." Jack pulled him to a stop, his hands bracing against the younger man's shoulders. He could tell what he was thinking, he generally could, but this was a thought he wasn't going to let him finish. "You will _never_ be like him."

"I get angry, Jack. You've seen it and how many times have you said that you would hate to get in my bad side?" Ianto asked, his eyes finding Jacks gaze.

"You know you're not like that."

"I held a gun against John's head because I thought he had hurt you and I would have shot him if Gwen hadn't stopped me."

"That's different!" Jack said firmly. "That kind of anger is normal, God knows I've done some bad things, but there's a difference between that and what he did." 

"Y'know, He was fine with my sister. It was just me he didn't like." Ianto fel his voice crack. "I was different. I didn't like the things he wanted me to like and I didn't have many girlfriends to show off. I was a wimp, a proper pansy he said. In the end the only one who hated me more than him was myself." 

Jack wraped his arms around him and held him tightly. He could feel the Welshman cling onto him, gripping the thick wool of his coat as he buried his head into his shoulder.

"Come on." Jack's lips brushed Ianto's ear as he spoke. "Gwen can cope on her own for the rest of the day. I'm taking you home."

"I'm fine." Isnto broke away from the older man's embrace and gave him a smile that failed to reach his eyes. "I have too much to do."

Jack framed the younger man's face with his hands and kissed his lips softly. "I'm taking you home," he said. "I'm going to show you what it feels like to have someone who cares about you."

"You already show me that." Ianto smiled a little, pressing a kiss against his lover's lips. "But I can always do with reminding." 

"Don't come back next year. He doesn't deserve it." 

"Okay." Ianto slipped his hand into Jack's hold and entwined their fingers; he brought their joined hands to his lips and kissed Jack's fingers. "Take me home." 

The older man smiled and held onto Ianto's hand tightly, swinging it between them a little as they made their way back towards the waiting SUV. They saw a woman walking towards them holding a large bouquet in her hands and Ianto gave her a small smile as she passed. She stared after them open mouthed, almost saying something. 

"Did you know her?" Jack asked.

"That's my sister," he replied simply. "And today is _not_ the day."


End file.
